Never funny when it happens to you?

Before you read... some context. On Saturday I had a day where I was reminded why I hate cricket sometimes. We were playing my old team (with whom I enjoy a friendly rivalry), on our second ground (wicket a bit dicey, outfield a touch bobbly.) They are not a great side, and we should have been favourites. Needless to say, we lost. I originally wrote something on the game on Sunday morning but on the advice of my legal team I have reworked it!

The game itself was a low key affair curtailed by the weather, and the toss was crucial. The tone for my day was set when I lost said toss, and their skipper gleefully told me we were batting. (In games with a chance of rain, the way our league is structured the side batting second have a significant

advantage.) Arses. We soldiered manfully to 19 overs when it hosed it down, making steady progress to 50-2. I managed to persuade them to take an early tea, which reduced the loss of overs and gave us more of a chance. Straight after tea we got back on, and I told the batsmen that we needed to stabilise to 30 overs, before looking to kick on to our reduced allotted 46. Within 5 overs we had lost 3 wickets (one to a direct hit run out, unheard of!) and we were right in the mire. We were 105-8 when I strode to the crease, with the mercurial Hirst at the other end. Peter Hirst has one shot in his repertoire, which is the 'Mow'. He also has previously played for the opposition. Hirsty can go at any point. What he needed was his Skipper at the other end, like some sort of batting Jiminy Crickett sitting on his shoulder reminding him not to do anything tw*tful. Unbelievably, this went ok. Hirsty and I put on an unbroken 61 to take us to a respectable 166-8 from 46 overs. I thought on this tricky pitch this was a competitive total, and reminded the bowlers of the need to bowl full and straight. 

After 40 overs of my seam attack mostly bowling short and wide, the oppo reached 168-5, mainly due to Mark Lockey (awful batter) bludgeoning 50* off 30 balls. Credit to Mark, (@lockey100) he batted well on the conditions, exploiting any width offered (plenty) to hit over the infield on a slow pitch. Hopefully some of our lads took note of his approach, and next week I won't see anyone getting caught at extra cover!! My fabulous day improved further when fielding at mid off. I was on the receiving end of a cricket ball in the testicles at pace - when you field at Medicals you learn to turn away at the last second to protect your face, unfortunately this meant I missed the resultant bobble into my orbs. Happily, I have no desire for any further children in the near future. Personally, I bowled ok - 10-0-52-2. Got the wickets with good balls but bowled too many 4 balls, which on the slowest wicket in world cricket are easily put away. Captaincy wise it was nice to be back in charge but obviously extremely disappointed by the result. I let the boys know in no uncertain terms what we need to do to improve, and it starts at nets tonight!!

Next week we have Stockton at home (again on our second pitch), they have lost both games so far but still have some good players and we must improve if we are to win. Forecast is rubbish, but hopefully we will get a game in.

I will be very much fielding in a box next week (assuming the swelling goes down.)

For more quality chat follow @lovetheturret