Rainy Jesmond!

What was looking like a fantastic weekend of cricket for the Mighty Turret turned into a bit of a damp squib as the Duke firmly put paid to any plans of meaningful cricket action. The 1’s did manage a game on Friday night in NEPL T20 vs Blaydon however, in a match reduced to 18 overs a side played in drizzle. Blaydon deservedly won on the night, our youthful batting line playing somewhat naively in the absence of lynchpin Michael Richardson. A special mention to Blaydon’s Peter Howells (@growler_33) who capped off a fantastic week with his 3^rd duck in a row, bowled reverse sweeping. A new low for a man currently on the bottom rung of the VFMOM (Value-for-money-O-meter). Please feel free to abuse him on this point. 

Moving to Saturday it was the 2’s first game of the season at our main home ground, glorious Jesmond. Needless to say we were washed out without a ball being bowled. 1’s managed 2 overs, both sides settling for draws. We now to not appear at Jesmond in the League until August. Fuming isn’t the word. On Sunday, a fine morning was offset by the forecasted heavy rain in the afternoon. Our cup tie vs Tynemouth (A) was abandoned at halfway. Happily we had already batted and I was hungover so had no desire to field. I had a lengthy bat despite still being hampered by my problem knee, (more glorious physio this evening!!) and the abandonment meant an opportunity to smash some tea away and play some cards.

In the absence of any real cricket action, I thought I would ask the question ‘What makes a good tea?’ I asked the lads on Sunday and multiple theories were put forward. Some favour quality, most favour quantity. Some want savoury, the majority seemed to prefer cakes. All players were in favour of a buffet over a set plate. It has always struck me as odd why tea ladies don’t canvas opinion – we once played Benwell Hill and sat down a pre served plate of Quiche. Not even their players ate it. Real men don’t eat Quiche. A lot of lads immediately talked about the best teas in the League, the general consensus being Blaydon or Chester le St with honourable mentions for South North and Tynemouth.

The worst tea any of the lads can ever remember was at Horden in the Durham Senior League. You got 1 sandwich, 1 handful of crisps and 1 jaffa cake. The jaffa cake in such a situation was a valuable commodity, open to ‘tea trading’. Tea trading is the concept of bartering food stuffs in the event of a set plate or limited buffet supply. In the Horden CC example, 1 jaffa cake could be worth the rest of the tea put together. Common high value Tea Trade items include pizza slices, Cup cakes, fondant fancies and Battenburg. Low value items include sandwiches, crisps, Quiche. Tea trading can get quite heated, I once saw a bidding frenzy for the last Mr Kipling bramley apple pie at Hetton Lyons a few years ago that reached such proportion that one of the lads offered a pair of batting gloves. In such high pressure situations all rational thought can go out the window.

After tea, a bit of Poker and then a victorious game of headers and volleys for yours truly in the rain. Did my knee no favours whatsoever but the overhead kick was just begging to be put away. A phenomenal piece of athleticism from the big man. The subsequent ‘Klinsmann’ celebration left onlookers baffled, they couldn’t understand the pressure of the situation in the cut throat atmosphere of our 2^nd XI dressing room.

As always, be good to hear what other  teams do when the Duke looms, or if you think your club has the best teas in the land. Failing that, if anyone knows of a worse value ‘pro’ than Peter Howells I’d love to find about it so I can update the VFMOM.

Follow the main man at @lovetheturret