I Love the turret!!!

Introducing the Legend - Alan Docherty

This week saw a fantastic weekend for the Turret, with wins for the 1's and 2's on Saturday against Stockton (yes, the 3's lost but Toby Howd got runs so it is ok). The 1's dominated from start to finish in their game, with my flatmate Ben Langrope getting a cheeky 5 for to kick start his season, with further runs this season for Michael Richardson and horrible man Niall Penfold. The 2's also won by 7 wickets in a fine team performance, though undoubtedly enjoyed the best of the conditions. However, I felt that this week I would write about a different thing that makes Newcastle CC so special, with a blog about our resident Legend, Alan Docherty. Every club has a 'legend', an old player who took a million wickets against better batters on roads, and scored a million runs against the fastest bowlers ever on minefields. A lot of these legends have genuinely been phenomenal cricketers in their day, and their input and advice can often be invaluable to young players. At Newcastle CC, we have THE Legend. Alan Docherty.

First a few points about the Legend. Doc is 61 years old and still plays for the 3rd XI, having actually only come to the club 4 years ago. Prior to that he’d played elsewhere locally. Doc is a very intelligent man who owns his own business, a paint company and holds a PhD in Chemistry from University College, London. This is mere context when discussing the true essence of the great man. Doc's main function these days are watching the 1st team and telling the players exactly how good he was ('I used to be hostile'), with outrageously embellished tales. Doc has claimed to kill with a cricket ball (via either his hostility or via his bat) a dog, a cat, a gerbil and on Saturday, a Koi Carp. 'I hit a 6 into an ornamental Japanese garden with water feature, carp floated up dead'. Apparently the RSPCA have begun to turn up on spec at grounds that Docherty is playing at in an effort to put an end to the animal suffering that the great man creates. Further claims at the bar on Saturday evening included a claim to have taken 20,000 wickets.Docherty has recently claimed that his fantastic exploits have led to him being immortalised on Stage in the production 'Past Glories', however the play was cut to 2 hours from its original 6 due to the fact that the Theatre need to do 3 shows a day to keep up with demand.

We have a few new players at the club this year, who have been a bit unsure about how to take the Doc's incoherent ramblings. A few of the 1's and 2's decided to go and watch the great man bowl for the 3s at HQ on Sunday and see if the great man could deliver. On hearing talk of an audience, Doc immediately promised to take 7-10, and called the 3rd XI skipper at 10:30 pm to inform him to win the toss and bat, stating that the game would be ruined if we were to bowl first due to the mayhem he was planning to cause.Doc's 2 games this season have brought analysis of 9-7-2-2 and 9-4-13-2 (in 45 over games) so it's fair to say the lads were anticipating something special. Our 3rd XI league is populated by experienced cricketers guiding promising juniors through to senior cricket. These young juniors are simply unable to cope with the lack of pace that Doc puts on the ball, with an average speed of 28 mph, and as such they can't hit him off the square.Anticipation now at bursting point, we settled down behind the bowlers arm to watch this master class. The 1st over was a wicket maiden (the batsman dragged on, a remain convinced that the forced he put on the ball was what allowed it to knock the bails off) and this lesson in miserly economycontinued for the remainder of the spell. It was his 5th over before he conceded a run. A final analysis of 9-6-11-1 means his seasonal economy rate is now over 1 per over. He has promised to reduce back under 1 next week. The spell was concluded with a standing ovation from the newly created Bay 13 who were in awe of the great man by now.

Docherty has repeatedly refused requests for interviews, saying that this will only enhance his legend. He has also refused to be considered for selection for my beloved 2's (thank God) so for the foreseeable future he will be spending his Sundays ruining children’s days (like a cricket version of the child catcher from Chitty chitty bang bang), indeed it has been confirmed that after playing our 3's absenteeism in local schools skyrockets as Docherty's wickets are placed on suicide watch.

As for me, I’m nursing a slight thigh strain which will need to be managed before I make my LCA XI bow on Monday. Talk of some fast bowling from the opposition has meant that I will be negotiating with the skipper for the converted number 11 spot.

If your club has a Legend who can topple the Doc, I would love to hear about it. Get in touch on twitter @lovetheturret.